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Finally, done with my mental torture, I decided to take it to a physical level. I walked over to my refrigerator and pulled out a black trash bag, fiercely throwing away all of the food I could get my hands on. I didn’t want it anymore. It took two big trash bags and a small one to finish, but when I was done, I smiled, seemingly satisfied. The only things left to be found were bread, water, and milk. I almost happily dragged the trash bags out to the industrial garbage can and threw them in. This was it. My self-mutilation process had begun. My weight quickly and agonizingly burned away. Every time I felt like eating, I looked at myself in the mirror and mentally cursed myself. ‘How dare you crave food, you fat little whore!’ my mind continually screamed through time. Within a matter of weeks, I was down to 110 pounds. The more I looked at my thinning figure, the more I enjoyed it. As my weight slowly withered away, my strength did also. But I didn’t care. I deserved it, so I. I had no idea what would happen next. Thatconcern quickly went away when I turned around and there she stood. Nowords had been spoken… we both knew what would happen next. I toldher that I couldn’t go back to my hotel. She seemed to understand…and we soon found ourselves in the lobby of her hotel. My legs wereshaking so much I wasn’t sure I could walk much further. But, in astrange way, I felt very much at peace with what was happening. We finally reached her room. She invited me in and told me tomake myself comfortable. I decided that although she was much youngerthan my 36 years, that I would let her continue to take the lead asshe had at the museum. She spoke little English but little verbalcommunication was needed. I finally told her that I would like toshower. It had been a very exciting day and a shower sounded like agood place to continue our affair. She indicated her approval and shebegan to help me with my clothes. It had been a long time since.
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